Adopted?

Mr7's Easter eggs, spring 2013

     Usually I don't mind taking care of Mr7. For those of you who don't know me, I am raising my Partner's grandson, aka Mr7. The boy's mother is way too young and pretty ineffective, to put it mildly.  She lives in the downstairs apartment, and Mr7 lives with me and my Partner. Click here to read about my family.

     The other day I had many errands, and I left Mr7 at home with his mother. Poor thing. He was bored, and his mother was downstairs. He kept calling me and asking me when was I returning home. 

     When I finally got home, I found his room in total disarray. I instructed him to clean his room and take a bath. This is when he took me by surprise and said, "Sometimes I feel like I've been adopted."  

(pause)

Um, okay.

I ask him to explain himself, and he proceeded with, "I mean I feel like I've been adopted by you and Grampa."

     His statement made me feel so sad for him and his bio-mom. I can't do anything to remedy the situation. All I can do is keep loving this boy. 

Ah! Florida

pic taken by Nan July 2012

I took a very spontaneous 5-day trip to Fort Lauderdale Florida last week.  You see, my Mr7 had not seen his Biological Father since Christmas, and I decided to take him there to see his Dad.

Mr7's mother was sabotaging all efforts for the father and son to see each other. This Baby-Mama-Drama was breaking my heart, hence the whirlwind trip.

This pic you see is Hollywood Beach. I get there late afternoon, and the beach was nearly empty.

Heaven! 

BioMom

      The other day my Mr6 spent the afternoon with his BioMom. BioMom is very young, inept and ill-prepared for life, let alone motherhood. Lest you think I am harsh, I am not. I speak the sad truth. 

     Anyways, she had to go to the market, and she took her Mr6 with her. She doesn't drive, so it was a long walk to and from the market. 
     When she returned home with Mr6, she announced she will need to buy him an iPod because he cannot walk without listening to some kind of music.


      I just gaze at her.


      To make a long story short, it turns out she can't be bothered with having any prolonged conversation with her own son. She prefers to pacify her son with an iPod so she can yap mindlessly on her Blackberry. 
I know. 
I've seen this in action since the day her son was born.
       I no longer feel sorry for Mr6. He gets PLENTY of opportunities for dialogue when he's with me (which is most of the time). Instead, I feel sorry for his BioMom. All of this will one day come back to haunt her. 
I'm not sure how, but it will.  

Are you my grandma?

I want to know who is telling my Mr6 I'm not his grandmother.

Two weeks ago Mr6 spent the weekend with his BioDad's family. They live across town.

We maintain a cordial relationship with them.

Mr6 returns home and right away he asks me a question for which I actually didn't have an answer (remember, I'm a teacher and can make up answers in a heart beat).

Mr6: Gamaaaa, are you my grandmother?

Me: Well, what do YOU think?

Mr6: Yes, you ARE my grandmother.

Well this past weekend Mr6 spent the day visiting his BioDad's family once agian. 

And again he posed me the exact same question when he returned home.

Mr6: Gamaaaa, are you my grandmother?

Me: Well, what do YOU think?

Mr6: No, you are not my grandmother.

Me: I'm NOT? (panic) 

Mr6: No, you're not my grandmother because you're not my mommy's mother.

*awkward silence*

Just then his BioMom walks into the room and he says, "Right Mom? Grandma is not your mother, so she is not my Grandma."

BioMom's answer stuns me. She responds with, "She is my step mother, so that means she IS your grandmother."

For all the animosity she and I once had, I couldn't believe she would come out with that generous statement. 

For once I feel blessed. 

Photo by Nan, 2010